This is a topic that I am sure we all give a good bit of thought to. What is monogamy? Why has it become so intrinsically linked with the value system of our society? Is there a purpose that is served with the acquisition of it?
Well, we can address the question of purpose by saying that monogamy is needed for marriage to work. Marriage is needed for procreation to come about. And, procreation leads to the completion of the family. Within all those aspects are thought to be contained an intrinsic and absolute expression of love throughout.
All of the above, is absolutely true. Monogamy is absolutely necessary for a man and a woman to achieve a family. And that can indeed be considered to be at the pinnacle of happiness in this life. So, why do so many marriages and relationships fail? And, why are so many families being torn apart because either the man, woman, or both come to the conclusion that they are unfulfilled in some way?
This has always been the tough part to get for me. It is surprising that while so many relationships are failing, so many of us continue to press on, searching for that person that will finally complete us. Either side certainly has ample reason to blame the one opposing because both play an active role in this vicious cycle. But why is it this way?
I have concluded that we have come to look at the ideas of relationship, love, and sexuality in such a limited way, and from such a merely material perspective, that we have become unable to see the higher purpose of anyone of them. What do you think that could be? Do you think it is possible that these concepts can even have a purpose other than the aforementioned?
Well, if we look at them in the order in which they were originally intended, first there has existed the individual man and woman. They at some point meet and through a general attraction for each other, love is found. Then sexual union would be followed by the creation of a new living being.
If we look at that idea from the point of view of many of the ancient Taoist teachings we find that even in their system of spiritual cultivation the same thing exists but in an existential (rather than material) way. In those cultures, each individual would first be shown ways to cultivate their own singular conscious awareness, through meditation and so forth.
As that awareness increased then it would be obvious that another cultivated being would be needed for either person to reach a new level, the highest level, of ultimate consciousness. This would be done through a kind of ritualistic sexual alchemical union to produce the immortal seed.
Is it possible that the men and women of today are simply seeking to satisfy their need to experience this higher state without realizing it? I am sure no one would deny that they feel the happiest when they are connecting with another person. I know this for certain and have experienced it. Is it not pretty easy to see that the experience of orgasm is simply the highest and most satisfying expression of that connection?
I think it is. The fact that a whole new life can be sparked by this makes it pretty clear. There is such an abundance of energy within the experience of orgasm that it can almost mimic satori or samadhi in many ways.
It is unfortunate that so many people are beating themselves down emotionally by running around trying frantically to find that one person that they can spend their lives with without understanding the true underlying purpose.
As I said, you are never as fundamentally happy, as when you are connecting emotionally with another person. But to look at it so one-dimensionally puts us at odds with ourselves. Perhaps we can look at it another way. Perhaps we should begin to view it in a way that helps the idea of monogamy make more sense than it seems to at the moment.
What would happen if we changed our priorities a bit and if, instead we had as our top priority, personal cultivation?. Maybe the achievement of true love of another would come much easier because it would be simply an extension of the existing love that we have cultivated within.
If I achieved an overabundance of love for myself, does it not make sense that it would spill over into almost a need to express that excess of love to another (instead of only wanting to…be loved by another)?
And, then, the next would be to realize that that mutual connection, that other person, is needed for me to reach even higher levels of realization.
That other person would then seem more like a vessel or channel for self actualization. That would be opposed to the current idea of being merely someone to spend time with, or grow old with. That idea has been romanticized to death, but it really isn’t so romantic.
The idea of having a partner in life who is helping me to bring about my own capacity for understanding myself and the world around me. Now THAT is romantic.
If that idea was put in place and acted out maybe then could the idea of monogamy actual work quite well.
I know that there is nothing I want more than to find that person that will help me achieve a higher level of spiritual understanding. And I have no problem waiting for that person to show up in my life. And, when they do, if I am pure and spiritually evolved and complete, I haven’t even the slightest doubt that it will be right.
Folks….what do YOU think?
Peace, Love, Light!
